Posts by Perfection Seeker

18

Looking over shoulder...............

by Perfection Seeker in

anyone still have ties to the witnesses?

for me- my entire family is still in- and i get cargroups at my house 2 out of 4 saturday mornings.

i am always looking over my shoulder when they knock- like- is there any lottery tickets laying around?

Perfection Seeker

Musky- that was a sweet post- thanks :-)

LB- I hear ya on the Christmas stuff. My husband has never been a witness, so our house is always decorated at holidays, of course its all him, not me..........lol- or at least my mom believes that! I have been so fed up lately, that I said this year we are going to have a power outage with so many lights & decorations! It drives my mom nuts! She refuses to come when the pumpkin is glowing on the front porch at Halloween- so, once she came in July- and my husband put it out as a joke to scare her away :-)

My Apostefest will be held near Cedar Rapids Iowa- course- you're all welcome to come to the Judicial committee before hand if it ever comes to that- we could have some SERIOUS fun :-)

I know I've said this in almost every post- but just found this site June 26- so this is all new to me. It is SOOOOOOOO comforting to hear others have gone through the SAME thing- and there is life after the organization! I felt so alone- even my husband couldn't understand the depth. To reach out to even "strangers" on here that know where you're coming from- well, this feels like a family! :-) I owe alot of recovery to this site! Will save a ton in therapy bills!! Thanks again! : -) MELISSA

18

Looking over shoulder...............

by Perfection Seeker in

anyone still have ties to the witnesses?

for me- my entire family is still in- and i get cargroups at my house 2 out of 4 saturday mornings.

i am always looking over my shoulder when they knock- like- is there any lottery tickets laying around?

Perfection Seeker

HI! Thanks for all the posts! I never hide or look over my shoulder when my husbands side of the family comes- they are normal :-) My family, however is DEEP DEEP DEEP inside- servants, elders, pioneers, etc. My ENTIRE family- not one member is NOT a witness but me. So, I have ALOT at stake. I want NO part of being a witness, hate the constant guilt & pressure, but would rather hide things now & then, and still have "ties" to them- and be able to talk to them when I want- rather than getting DA'ed or DF'ed and have NO family. Family, good or bad- is a strong tie- they all live within 15 minutes of me- we just built a house- we're here to stay- would be terrible to be this close- and have to be shunned, etc. I told my mom the other day when she was preaching at me that at least when I was disfellowshipped she couldn't bug me. Shut her RIGHT up. (FOR NOW) So, yes, when the big shunning comes- I will deal with it- but for now- if I can keep in the closet- so to speak- that is good for me, for now. I don't attend meetings or conventions, so they know I want no part- but just HOW far gone I am- the big "A" word- I will keep secret for now. Course, when & if it does come- getting a label on me- and being shunned, I've found some HILARIOUS suggestions for Judicial Committees, and then I am holding my own "APOSTEFEST" in my back yard- and EVERYONE is invited! :-)

18

Looking over shoulder...............

by Perfection Seeker in

anyone still have ties to the witnesses?

for me- my entire family is still in- and i get cargroups at my house 2 out of 4 saturday mornings.

i am always looking over my shoulder when they knock- like- is there any lottery tickets laying around?

Perfection Seeker

Anyone still have ties to the witnesses? For me- my ENTIRE family is still in- and I get cargroups at my house 2 out of 4 Saturday mornings. I am ALWAYS looking over my shoulder when they knock- like- Is there any lottery tickets laying around? Astroglide still on the living room floor from the night before? (LOL) Where did I leave that Crisis of conscience book last.......lol. My brother came & asked my husband for some computer help- they went upstairs- and my heart stopped- I KNEW there was a sheet with 10 ways to shut JW's up laying by the computer. I guess my husband didn't even notice it- but when I went up- I did- and laid a book over it- but I think it was too late. Then, my husband did the search engine for something- and up popped the last 10 searches- and low & behold- JEHOVAHS WITNESS DEPROGRAMMING was right there on top! That was the last time my brother has been here. Kind of funny now. :-) Of course- theres the looking over shoulder when buying a lottery ticket, renting a R movie, going to a R movie- its such a crock. Even when I was "in" others told me what my conscience should allow. If you DONT do something out of fear, is it really the right reason? When I was in, I didn't do certain things because I didn't want to get caught- by the ORGANIZATION- it had nothing to do with Jehovah. Its so sad. I feel so bad for the ones who are just starting the long journey ahead. We'll see them on here eventually! Thanks for listening :-)

29

From Intercourse to Paradise...

by NeonMadman in

...with stops along the way in bird-in-hand and lancaster.. that's right.

today, i, my wife and my mother-in-law loaded ourselves into the car and drove down to pennsylvania dutch country, where we visited the towns of intercourse, paradise, and the others i mentioned.

we went to the mennonite information center, where we heard a lecture about the israelite tabernacle in the wilderness, enhanced by viewing an actual size model of the tabernacle.

Perfection Seeker

You got me! I clicked on this post first thing ;-) Good one! :-) (Intercourse usually does lead to paradise-lol)

15

Happy Post!!

by Princess in

jw
friends

.

fourteen years ago today, i married my prince.

rachel

Perfection Seeker

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! Five years ago today I married my prince, as well :-) Must be a good day to get married! :-) CONGRATS!! Hang on to him!

31

JW Dad talks to me,talks to me not

by mommy1 in

my jw dad calls me every once in awhile and is very friendly.

i have even went to his house for dinner,went shopping with him and his wife.

then months go by and i call he is cold and distant.so i figure he doesn't want a relationship.

Perfection Seeker

Mommy- I am SOOO sorry I said get used to it. All I meant was those who are "IN" are very flighty- want to see you one minute, then the next you are not "worthy" I said GET USED TO IT out of gest. Its been over 7 years that my family has done that to me- and I am NOT used to it yet- so sorry I said it- was in a bad way. Here is where you need support- sorry if it sounded negative. Best wishes! MElissa

20

Would you forget it ALL if you could?

by Perfection Seeker in

if you could "bump your head" and forget all the crap that came with being a witness, would you?

but, in some way, i think i have grown from the experience & have learned from it, and it has made me be a better personl, less judgemental, more tolerant, more open.

but, if there was a magic pill to erase it- hmm......hell yes i'd do it!

Perfection Seeker

I agree Jan! I guess if it meant wiping out ALL Memories- family, friends, etc- I wouldn't want to do it. Can't anyway- so no issue there :-) I am how I am because of my upbringing, and that is something I have to face. Just wish all the DEEP DEEP DEEP DEEP guilt would just vanish away. God didn't plant that guilt- the ORGANIZATION did. That I would erase if I could selectively erase things :-)

20

Would you forget it ALL if you could?

by Perfection Seeker in

if you could "bump your head" and forget all the crap that came with being a witness, would you?

but, in some way, i think i have grown from the experience & have learned from it, and it has made me be a better personl, less judgemental, more tolerant, more open.

but, if there was a magic pill to erase it- hmm......hell yes i'd do it!

Perfection Seeker

If you could "bump your head" and forget ALL the crap that came with being a witness, would you? Sometimes I say YES YES YES. BUT, in some way, I think I have grown from the experience & have learned from it, and it has made me be a better personl, less judgemental, more tolerant, more open. BUT, if there was a magic pill to erase it- hmm......hell yes I'd do it! :-) So much mental torture & guilt & abuse. If anyone finds the magic pill- let me know! :-) So far- this board has been like a magic pill for me- it has really helped heal me- and I just found it last week! :-) Thanks to everyone!

Edited by - perfection seeker on 2 July 2002 17:34:9

31

JW Dad talks to me,talks to me not

by mommy1 in

my jw dad calls me every once in awhile and is very friendly.

i have even went to his house for dinner,went shopping with him and his wife.

then months go by and i call he is cold and distant.so i figure he doesn't want a relationship.

Perfection Seeker

Get used to it! My mother is the same way. On Saturday- she will call- all nicey nicey- mention the speaker for the next day- Sunday she is a bitch, Monday she is a bitch, by Tuesday, she is forgetting a little why she was mad (me not going to meeting) Wednesday it is "HI HONEY" Thursday Friday Saturday fine- then starts the bitch cycle. (Sorry for swear words- only way to describe it) I jsut deal with it. I know we get along Wed-Sat- and not Sun- Tues. If I were you- I would take the "good days" and enjoy them. Or, you could say- forget it- I don't need the once a year nicey nicey. I am glad I don't have kids to be used as pawns from my mom. GOOD LUCK!

44

My surreal district convention

by RunningMan in

jw
friends

well, i just got back from yet another summer ass-marathon.

seventeen hours of sitting in hockey arena seats that were made for three hour games, trying to stay awake, while not losing contact with my extremities.. needless to say, the program was dull and boring.

in fact, i'm not completely sure that they didnt just re-run last year's.

Perfection Seeker

Oh my god- I just read your post- it felt like I was at the convention- ugh! My butt hurts, my head hurts, I feel like I've eaten a Jehovahoagie (Still laughing at that reference) and I am mentally drained! I am soooooooooooo glad I no longer go to conventions!